Beatrice was certain she was going to die. Her car was parked in front of BiLo. She’d locked herself in and rolled all the windows up tight.

The temperature that afternoon was in the high 90s. The inside of the car must have been like an inferno. Beatrice just sat there, behind the wheel, for over an hour. Her eyes were closed and her hands were on the back of her head as tears streamed down her face.

The store manager tried to help the woman, but she refused to open a window or unlock the doors. She said she’d been shot in the back of the head and was holding in her brains so she wouldn’t die.

That’s when the manager called 911. According to an Associated Press dispatch, paramedics had to force the car door open. When they examined the gunshot wound on the back of Beatrice’s head they found her hands were cupped around a wad of bread dough.

The ambulance crew reasoned that it got so hot inside the car that a package of refrigerator biscuits in a grocery bag on the back seat exploded. At that very moment, a wad of bread dough hit Beatrice on the back of the head.

Given a loud bang plus a wad of gooey stuff smacking her on the head, the woman was absolutely certain she’d been shot.

A special medal needs to go to the paramedic who was able to explain to the woman what’d really happened without falling down and convulsing in laughter. It’s not known if Beatrice’s family ever found out about the incident on that hot summer afternoon in front of BiLo.

I’d never tell-would you?