Picture this: three crystal clear blenders, each one containing a fancy-tailed goldfish swimming around like it hasn’t a care in the world. At the bottom of each blender is a set of glistening razor sharp blades. The appliance cord is plugged into a 110 volt live socket.

Goldfish aren’t known for their cerebral qualities, so we understand that they are unaware of the imminent danger of their terminal environment.

The creative genius behind this "work of art" submits photographs to the artistic jury for a metropolitan art show. The jury loves it. Go figure.

At the opening of the Moyamensing Museum of Modern Art’s 12th Annual Spring Show, the three little fishes exhibit is a headliner. No weirdo in the tri-state area can stay away from this event.

Ropes are draped around exhibits with tastefully printed signs admonishing the crowd: "Do not touch art exhibits." The question is: "How can a certified wacko not touch this goldfish display?" The museum guards are going nuts.

Try not to get ahead of me here but I must tell you that one of the artist’s contractual requirements is that the three blenders be plugged into electrical floor sockets. Live sockets.

Enter Willie Dibiasi, certified village idiot. Willie reaches two of the blender "start" buttons before the guards can get to him.

As Willie is hauled off in handcuffs the artist is hysterical, screaming, "Animal, you’re nothing but an animal." A couple of Valiums later, the artist pulls himself together and replaces the goldfish with a couple of live fancytails.

The exhibit continues, but now to record attendance thanks to media coverage of the barbaric acts of Weird Willie who is, by the way, jailed for criminal mischief. Wouldn’t you hate being an art critic?