Scratch and Edna have been out on the town bar-hopping since sundown. It’s now well past midnight. Scratch is laughing so hard at one of his own stupid jokes that he doesn’t realize he’s approaching a railroad crossing. The problem is, there’s a 500 yard long freight train occupying the space that his ’87 Pontiac will soon require.

Had Scratch been driving just a tad slower, the train might have finished the crossing and Scratch would never have known the difference. But the train is two freight cars short of completing the crossing. Scratch’s Pontiac slams in between the last two freight cars where it remains hopelessly wedged.

The Pontiac, with Scratch and Edna on board, is dragged along on the roadbed, sideways, for nearly a mile. Soon they arrive at a river crossing. The rails on the bridge are about 50 feet above the river. At this time of year the river is low, exposing a generous number of large rocks - boulders, you might say.

By now the train engineer knows that something is not right and gradually brings the train to a full stop. Scratch, Edna and the ’87 Pontiac are hanging over the edge of the bridge, 50 feet above the riverbed.

Scratch is so drunk he thinks this adventure is hilarious. Edna does not agree. She is hanging on inside the car with white knuckled fervor, waiting to be rescued. So out of touch with reality is Scratch that he climbs out the window on the driver’s side to go for help.

At least that’s the story Edna gives the sheriff as paramedics and deputies fish Scratch’s lifeless body out of the river. Better take those railroad crossings seriouly. The trains always win!