"Agnes’ Secret Weapon"
It’s 8:30 Sunday night when Agnes arrives back home from the Sunday night service at her church. As the 73 year old woman fiddles with her keys at the side door she’s thinking how nice it’ll be to have a hot cup of Earl Grey tea. Things like that are important on a cold wintery night in Nebraska.
Once inside her home Agnes notices something strange. She left the thermostat on 70 degrees but the house is cold. Must be in the 40s. No wonder. The front door is standing wide open!
Agnes pushes the door shut. Then, to her horror, she notices the drawers of her desk standing open with the papers and other contents scattered on the floor.
Next she hears a noise coming from the back of the house. Peering down the hallway she sees a stranger with a pillow case over one shoulder coming out of her bedroom.
"Stop, thief!" she shouts, holding up her Bible, adding, "Acts 2:38."
In an instant the thief drops the pillow case filled with valuables from the old lady’s house, dashes back into the bedroom, throws open the window and dives out onto the snow-covered lawn.
Immediately Agnes calls the police and within two hours they have a suspect handcuffed in the back of a patrol car. In the area near Unadilla, Nebraska, there are few places for a running thief to hide. The boots he’s wearing are a perfect match for the prints left behind in the snow. They’re also prison-issue boots.
Agnes is able to describe the suspect to the satisfaction of the police. After gathering a full account of the incident, one officer asks the suspect, "Why did you drop everything and ran like that - all she did was quote some Scripture at you?"
"What are you talking about, Scripture?" says the prisoner. "That crazy woman threatened to kill me. She said she had an axe and two .38’s."
Copyright-Bob Ford-2001
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