It’s three o’clock Sunday morning when Luther-Ray staggers into the ER pleading for treatment of a gunshot wound on his right leg. The bullet entered the thigh and exited near the knee. Medics called the police, as they’re supposed to.

Luther-Ray told Sheriff’s Detectives Darrell and George that he was the victim of a drive-by shooting by gang members. He said gang bangers were driving north on Landon Street as he walked in the same direction on the east sidewalk. He said the shooters were both white men in their 20s. They were in a dark blue Ford Ranger with a Satan sticker on the tailgate. The more Luther-Ray talked the more detail he added to the story.

The detectives stepped away from Luther-Ray to confer about the victim’s testimony. "Given the direction of the vehicle and the direction Luther-Ray was walking," said Darrell, "the bullet would have had to loop around his left leg, than make a 180 degree turn to enter his right leg." The detectives rolled their eyes.

"I think we’ve got a live one here," says George.

After lots of questioning, Luther-Ray finally admits he shot himself in the leg. "But it was an accident," he says. "I was dancing by myself at Mamma and Bubba’s Bar." Luther-Ray said a crack dealer gave him the gun. After the "shooting," Luther-Ray tossed the gun off the iron bridge down on Mitchell Road.

Members of the sheriff’s dive team spent two hours in the Dundee River near the iron bridge but found no gun. Darrell and George later spotted Luther-Ray limping around town. They told him every time his lips moved he lied. None of his stories check out.

"Okay," says Luther-Ray, "you got me. Now, lemme tell you what really happened." The stories just got worse.

Tiring of this entire episode, Darrell and George told Luther-Ray to be quiet. "Here’s the deal," they said: "We’re locking you up and charging you with making a false report to the police. And if you say one more word we’re gonna charge you with Federal Lying, which has a sentence of life without parole."

The detectives had finally gotten Luther-Ray’s attention. He shut up and said not another word.