Clovis is stuck in the garage. The garage door is locked from the outside with a padlock. The kitchen door is also locked and there’s no car in the garage. No glass to break; it’s a solid wood door.

"I’ll use my cell phone," Clovis thinks. But no, the battery is dead. Face it, Clovis-you’re stuck until somebody lets you out! Somebody does finally open the garage door, but it takes over a week.

I guess I forgot to mention that Clovis is not an invited guest in that household. He’s there as your everyday burglar. With a pillow case full of the family’s jewelry, silverware, and other personal property, he leaves through the kitchen door out into the garage.

After Clovis slams the door, he searches for the remote opener for the garage. Ah, but you see, the garage door is locked from the outside with a padlock. The family is on vacation in faraway Cancun, and the house is locked up tight.

Why doesn’t Clovis leave the same way he came in? Can’t. He came in through a bedroom window he broke at the rear of the house. Now he can’t get back inside.

Clovis never thought he’d eat dog food, but after two days without food he spots a 25-pound bag of the stuff there in the garage-and a huge supply of Diet Pepsi to wash it down.

When the family returns - eight days later - Clovis is rescued. He’s also arrested. Months later, Clovis sues the family for "mental anguish" because of his confinement and having to eat all that dog food.

Are you ready for this? The jury awards Clovis $500,000 for his "pain and suffering." But Clovis will have to wait seven years to spend his money because he’s in the penitentiary serving seven years for burglary.

Note: Detectives counted the cost of the dog food as part of the "fruit of the crime."