Durwood needs a job, but good jobs are hard to find. Because he’s unemployed, Durward watches a lot of television-especially the events since September 11.

In one of Durwood’s fantasies, he sees himself as a firefighter-a real American hero. "Why not," Durwood thinks, and he heads for the town hall to apply for a job as a firefighter.

The human resource person looks at Durwood. Six feet tall, 190 pounds. Looks the picture of health.

"Bet you’d make a good one," a clerk in the personnel office says with a big smile.

They bury Durwood in paperwork. He fills out what he can at town hall; then he goes home to dig up more dates and telephones his mother to help gather additional information.

After two days Durwood has all the required information and submits his application to the personnel office at town hall.

"You’ll need to go down to the police department to have your picture made and fingerprints taken," says the office clerk. "And we’ll need you to fill this up for a drug test."

"No problem," says Durwood, "I’m drug-free. Never have used drugs of any kind."

About 10 days later Durwood stops back at the town hall to see how his application for firefighter is coming along.

"Come into my office and have a seat," says the human resources person.

Durwood is anxious about his prospects for becoming a member of the town’s fire department. But the town hall official tells him his application has been denied. He will not be hired.

Durwood is stunned!

"You were not totally up front with us, Durwood," says the human resources person. "You didn’t tell us you’d been arrested for check fraud, domestic violence, driving under the influence, criminal sexual conduct with a minor, and that you’re a registered sex offender listed on the Internet."

"Well, do I get the job, or not?" asks Durwood.