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"Did I Say That?"

Mr. Boggs, an accountant, is charged with numerous counts of grand larceny in the theft of money from his trucking firm.

Boggs, having plead "not guilty," has elected to testify during the arduous trial. Most of the testimony involves company ledgers and spreadsheets.

Boggs appears to be a truthful, although forgetful man, and frequently has to correct himself saying, "I misspoke myself."

At the time of his arrest Boggs gave police information which he now claims differs from what actually happened.

Everybody does that now and then, but when you do it on the witness stand, under oath-that’s a bit more serious.

After closing arguments, Hector McMillan, the presiding judge, instructs the jury, explaining that a witness is not necessarily untruthful if he changes his mind. The judge gives a personal example:

"When I arrived at my chambers this morning, I was absolutely certain I had my gold pocket watch in my vest pocket. But when I reached for my watch, it wasn’t there!"

The judge continues: "After some reflection, I realized that I’d left my gold watch at home in a glass ashtray on my bedside table. I’d remembered incorrectly."

Later that evening Judge McMillan arrives home in time for a late supper. He’s greeted by his wife, Clara, who says, "In all the years you’ve been on the bench, I’ve never known you to send three men from the courthouse to pick up something you forgot."

"Forgot?" says the judge, "What on earth are you talking about?"p>

"A man said you sent him here to pick up your gold pocket watch. He told me exactly where you’d left it, so naturally, I gave it to him to take to you."

Redfaced, the judge bellows: "I sent no one here to get anything!"

Puzzled, the wife responds, "That’s odd, because later there were two other men here asking about your gold watch, but after the first man, I told them they were too late."


Copyright-Bob Ford-2002      


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Bad Guys Good Guys


As a police reporter turned retired South Carolina Cop, Bob Ford writes "Call the Cops" with authority. "Call the Cops" ranges from the humorous to the outright bizarre and is published in several media throughout the Southeastern United States.   Bob is also CopNet's South Carolina Screening Officer.



Write to Bob Ford at: BobFord@fenrir.com



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