"Howard's Trick Shot"
A sport utility vehicle speeds out of the convenience store parking lot just as Howard is passing by. The sheriff’s sergeant falls in behind the SUV and starts checking the license tag by radio. That's when the guy speeds up. Might be a holdup or gas drive-off.
Soon the SUV turns down a gravel road. Howard knows it’s a dead-end leading to the lakefront. The fleeing driver realizes his mistake, but he’s already worked his way into a maze of bushes, trees, and large rocks. Both vehicles stop. Howard gets out of his patrol car to consider his approach to the suspect.
Suddenly, the SUV guns the engine, heading straight for Howard. As close as the charging rogue vehicle is, Howard has no time to dive for cover. He draws his Smith & Wesson revolver and fires two shots. Instantly the SUV loses power and hits a tree. The driver jumps out running.
A backup deputy arrives quickly to help Howard. Soon deputies hear a rustle in the bushes and call out for the bad guy to surrender.
Instead, the perp runs to the end of a boat dock and leaps into the lake. The TV weatherman had said on the 11 o’clock news that the outside temperature was 42 degrees.
Deputies shine flashlights on the guy in the water. He swims away from the light. Another light picks him up and again he swims into the darkness. This game becomes tiring, especially when conditions are so right for hypothermia.
The cold finally wins out and the guy surrenders. After deputies help him warm up, he is booked into the county jail. That’s when officers learn he did not hold up the convenience store. But the fact that his blood-alcohol level is .28 explains his behavior. The law says you’re officially drunk with a .10.
A word about Howard’s magic bullets—the ones that stopped the charging SUV: Howard’s .357 Magnum bullets both struck the vehicle’s front fender near the hood; one bullet cut a battery cable completely in half, and made final impact in the electrical box on the fire wall. Powerless, the vehicle rolled to a stop.
Deputies still ask Howard if he actually "aimed for the battery cable." Howard just smiles. "Would you like to see a picture of the shot-out cable?"
Copyright-Bob Ford 2002
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