Although Gordon didn’t finish high school, he was trained in "burglary 101" while serving a stretch with the Department of Juvenile Justice. That’s all you need to know about Gordon, who is released on his 18th birthday.

First thing he does is get a driver’s license, an adolescent requirement. Then he goes to Mickey D’s and orders a Whopper. While eating lunch, Gordon plans his future.

Later that night, Gordon picks out a house in an affluent neighborhood. There are no cars in the driveway or garage. He checks windows until he finds one unlocked. Kids back at juvie said, "there’s always one open."

Inside, Gordon heads straight for the kitchen. Remember, he’s 18 and always hungry. He makes a giant sandwich and drinks Coke straight out of a two liter bottle. He leaves the kitchen a mess, of course.

The boy steals trinkets from tabletops in the den and living room. Fills his pockets with things like a letter opener, a 35mm camera and a quartz wrist watch. To make room for his newly found treasurer, Gordon empties the stuff from his pockets.

It never occurs to Gordon to check the bedrooms for items of greater value, or even look for a bag to carry his loot. He puts all of the stolen stuff in his pockets.

On the way out, he spots a sump pump in the kitchen entry-way. He has no idea what a sump pump is—but he steals it anyway. Then he leaves with his pockets stuffed to overfilling with his new treasures, and a sump pump under one arm.

I told you Gordon emptied his pockets to make room for the stuff he stole. But did I mention that one of the items he left on the kitchen counter was his wallet—the one containing his new driver’s license with all the ID information?

Now when Gordon goes back into the system he’ll be too old for juvie. Now he qualifies to do time with the big dogs. He may get to attend criminal graduate school — if he survives.