Wendell spends most every day in bed until noon. Then he makes a mad dash for the television set to catch some daytime soap. That lifestyle is what caused Wendell to drop out of high school. This guy is not really on a collision course with success.

But now he needs money and he’s going to do something about it. No, no — nothing like work. He plans to rob a convenience store. He sits at the kitchen table with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich making plans.

By afternoon, Wendell heads toward town. He arrives at Stubby’s Store. There are three customers in the store. He pulls a .38-caliber revolver out of his belt and orders the three to stand in the corner. "You’re my hostages," Wendell barks.

Now comes the masterful part of Wendell’s plan. He’s going to burn the store down so there’ll be no evidence for the police. "I’ll make a clean getaway," Wendell reasons.

Next the master criminal takes a gas can and begins spewing gasoline on the walls and on merchandise. He orders Mrs. Stubby out from behind the counter and tells her to file out the door with the other hostages.

While Wendell throws lit matches on the floor, the hostages take off running. The exploding gas fumes give Wendell an "assist" out the front door. The sheriff arrives while Wendell is still on the ground dusting himself off.

Wendell protests being handcuffed, saying, "I ain’t did nothing." The fact is, Wendell really did not do as he’d planned. His plans called for Wendell to take customers hostage and rob them. Next, he’d take all the money from the cash register. They’d all leave the store. Only then would he go back inside and set the fire.

However, in all the excitement, Wendell forgot all about the robbery part of his plans.

That’s okay, he’ll have plenty of time to review his mistakes while serving time for arson and for kidnapping. Yes, kidnapping — that’s what they call it when you force people around at the point of a gun.