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"Hot Pipe Tells All"

George is promoted to detective from the patrol division. He’s assigned to work with Darrell, an old timer they called "Dog" because once he sinks his teeth into a case he won’t let go.

"You look like a college boy," Dog says. "The sheriff keeps sending me college boys, like they’re gonna make great detectives."

"No, sir," says George, "I only went two years to college."

"Know where I got most of my education?" Dog asks. "Right here," pointing down at the street. "Get in the car," Dog says, "we got a hit and run to work — victim may not survive."

The case is only an hour old. The traffic team says there are no witnesses. From the looks at the crime scene, there’s damage to the car’s grille and right front — probably blood spatters and clothing fragments.

"First thing we do is canvass body shops," says Dog. "If this guy’s smart, he’s already locked the car in a garage. If he’s stupid, like most of them, he’ll try to have the car repaired before we get to him."

Working in an outward spiral from the crime scene, Dog and George check garages. All of the shops know something’s wrong.

"We never see you ’less it’s trouble," says a mechanic.

Glaring at the man, Dog says, "You know I only have one rule — ‘never lie to me.’ Now, has anybody brought a vehicle in here this morning that’s been in a wreck? I don’t care how little the damage!"

That’s the routine at each shop — until they get to Mattie’s shop. Dog asks the question.

Regarding the car up on the lift Mattie says, "It’s been here since yesterday."

At that moment George yells, "Ouch! It’s hot!"

Dog looks under the car to see George standing at the rear of the car shaking his left hand — the one he burned when he grabbed hold of the tail-pipe.

Mattie won’t look Dog in the eye.

"You know my rule about lies," Dog says as he fondles his handcuffs.

Mattie confesses: "I didn’t know it was a hit and run. He paid up front — plus $300 extra if I’d do it right away."

George heads for the customer lounge where the driver is quietly drinking coffee and reading a magazine.


Copyright-Bob Ford 2004      


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Bad Guys Good Guys


As a police reporter turned retired South Carolina Cop, Bob Ford writes "Call the Cops" with authority. "Call the Cops" ranges from the humorous to the outright bizarre and is published in several media throughout the Southeastern United States.   Bob is also CopNet's South Carolina Screening Officer.



Write to Bob Ford at: BobFord@fenrir.com



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