By the time the cops arrive on Eccleston Street a Volkswagen has backed into a garage. The problem is, the VW doesn’t wait for the garage door to open. There’s bits of shattered wood everywhere.

"That car belongs to that crazy Cynthia across the street," the homeowner tells the cops. "That car has a mind of its own," she says. "It came across the street all by itself and smashed into my garage."p>

By now Cynthia arrives at the scene and begins explaining to the officers what happened. Cynthia’s car is a stick shift. For her birthday, Cynthia’s husband gave her a remote control that enables her to turn on the ignition while she’s still inside the house. By the time she gets to the car, it’s warm and ready to go.

Cynthia tells the cops she’s had trouble with the remote. One time when she was downtown, "I just got my little boy out of the carseat when the car jumped the curb and hit the brick wall in front of the drugstore." She managed to cut off the remote before the car did any more damage. "Problem is, sometimes I forget to take the car out of gear," Cynthia explains.

"I’ve also got a ‘TV Begone’ remote in my purse that I use to turn off televisions in stores and restaurants when the sound is too loud. Sometimes I get the two remotes mixed up — and that creates a problem."

Both cops are listening to this explanation, but with their mouths wide open. One cop says to the other, "This can’t be happening. Tell me we’ve got the day off and this is just a bad dream."

The other cops replies, "Maybe there’s a remote we can use to shut her off?"

"You wish," says the partner.

Suddenly the lady volunteers: "Maybe I’ll just get rid of both remotes. I don’t even know how they work, anyway!"

"That would be just dandy," the first cop says. "Why don’t we put them in this evidence bag, just to keep them out of harm’s way until we can all have a nice little chat with the judge?"