It’s 11:30 on a Friday night. The moon is full and the sky is clear as Betty Mae zooms home in her Passat convertible. Suddenly Betty Mae jerks the wheel to the right, crosses the shoulder of the road and her car dives headlong into a drainage ditch. The driver airbag deploys, which undoubtedly saves Betty Mae from serious injury.

Two deputies arrive at the scene along with a paramedic unit. Betty Mae has a few bumps but no skin is broken. The deputies ask Betty Mae to stand erect. "You’ve got to be kidding," she says, "after what I’ve been through?"

The second deputy also attempts to perform a sobriety test, but Betty Mae is hopeless. She can’t hold still very long and her attention span is down to zero.

"Have you been drinking, ma’am?" a deputy asks.

"Absolutely not, occifer," replies Betty Mae. "I never touch that dreadful stuff."

"Have you taken any drugs within the last three or four hours?" the other deputy asks.

"Well, I took my Xanax because the doctor told me I had to." She reaches into her purse and pulls out a prescription bottle marked "60 Xanax — take one a.m. and one p.m." The prescription is dated three days ago but the bottle is now empty.

"I needed to take those pills, you better believe," she says.

"What’s that white froth around your mouth, ma’am?" a deputy asks.

"I’ve been chewing one of my hydros," she says as she stumbles and nearly falls.

"You recall what caused the accident?" a deputy asks Betty Mae.

"I most certainly do," she replies. "I was driving along, minding my own business, when a possum crossed the road right in front of me. He would’ve been all right except he drops his cigarette, and that makes me slam on the brakes and swerve to keep from hitting the poor little critter."

Epilogue: Xanax is an anti-anxiety drug that can cause blurred vision under normal dosages. "Hydros" (Hydrochlorothiazide) is a water pill that can cause fatigue, lethargy, and unconsciousness in some cases.