Steamer and his wife, Imogene, are out painting the town red up in North Jersey on this particular Saturday night. They’d been playing shuffle board in Tabachi’s bar and had a couple dozen mugs of beer.

Actually, the bouncer at Tabachi’s told them to leave. Driving around looking for another bar, Steamer and Imogene continue to drink from a beer supply they keep in a cooler on the back seat of the car.

This couple is a natural for a drunk driving arrest if only a black and white would drive by. But the streets are nearly empty — everybody’s in bars getting drunk.

Imogene opens the glove box and pulls out a tubular thing. "What the heck is this?" she asks Steamer. I guess I forgot to tell you that Steamer works for a demolition company and usually has some dynamite stashed somewhere in the car.

"Careful!" says Steamer, "that’s dynamite — it’ll blow your hand off."

Imogene isn’t worried. She reaches into her purse and pulls out a cigarette lighter. "Drive by Tabachi’s bar and I’ll give ’em a little souvenir they won’t forget," she says.

As the car approaches Tabachi’s Bar, Imogene lights the fuse — actually, it’s only a quarter-stick of dynamite.

"Slow down, sugar," she yells as they pass the bar. With a mighty heave she tosses the lighted dynamite. Trouble is, the dynamite doesn’t go very far — it’s wintertime and the car windows are rolled up.

You guessed it, the dynamite hits the glass, falls down between the front seat and passenger door. Meanwhile, Steamer and Imogene are frantically trying to dive out of the car. They only make it part way when the little stick makes a large KABOOM!

Both are seriously injured, mostly on the lower half. The cops are still trying to sort out possible charges, but time is on their side — Steamer and Imogene are not going anywhere for a long, long time.