"Wilbert’s Power Breakfast"
According to WMC-TV in Memphis, TN, if you ever thought you had a bad day, check first with Wilbert — his day was worse than anything you might imagine.
We’re not sure what Wilbert was doing before his misadventure, but whatever it was, it had to include a mighty powerful substance.
Wilbert’s zany day begins with slamming his car into a utility pole in downtown Memphis. Unhurt, the guy jumps out of his wrecked car and goes pounding on the front door of a nearby house. You think maybe he wants to report the accident?
Nobody answers his frantic knocks, so he kicks in a window. That’s when the owner shoots Wilbert. Well, can you blame the homeowner?
Witnesses tell police that Wilbert stripped down to his underwear. We’re not sure where the bullet hit Wilbert, but it couldn’t have done too much damage because he leaves the area running like a scared gazelle.
Picture this: here’s Wilbert running down the sidewalk in his underwear, bleeding like a stuck pig. What a sight to behold in Memphis on the first day of November.
Next Wilbert finds himself standing in front of a MacDonald’s. For reasons known only to him, Wilbert reaches into the gutter, picks up a rock, and hurls it through MacDonald’s plate glass window. The store manager tells a TV reporter, "The guy had to be on a high-powered something."
Shortly after the rock-throwing incident, the cops arrive. Wilbert is handcuffed and taken to the hospital for treatment of a bullet wound and glass cuts. None of these injuries is life threatening, but the cops won’t lock him up until he’s certified healthy.
The cops have the final word in this matter. They handcuff Wilbert to his gurney and promise to pick him up as soon as he’s released from the emergency room.
Copyright-Bob Ford 2007
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