Joe Aiello owns an Italian delicatessen and does a great lunch business. On this day Joe is sitting down with one of his customers when he hears a loud noise coming from the back of the market.

Joe goes to investigate, and as he arrives at the walk-in freezer, he sees a tall guy and a short guy with their arms filled with Italian meat specialties — things like prosciutto, cappicola, pepperoni, and cheese.

Joe is furious. "You bums are too lazy to work so you steal from Joe Aiello. Not today!" Joe shouts.

With that Joe reaches out and starts pulling the frozen meat out of the arms of the tall thief. The guy drops most of the meat but hangs on to a roll of frozen prosciutto which he uses to hammer Joe Aiello on the back.

Joe grabs a frozen ham by the net cover and swings it upward, catching the tall thief under the chin. The guy goes down on his back with a thud. Joe has delivered a knockout punch with a frozen ham.

The short thief figures it’s all over, drops his armful of meat and heads for the back door. Joe hurls a roll of cappicola at the running thief’s legs. The guy falls and slams into the back door.

When the short guy looks up, Joe Aiello is standing over him holding a meat cleaver. That’s pretty much the way things are when the cops arrive.

The tall guy and the short guy are in bigger trouble than they realized. The caper started out as a burglary. But when they were surprised by Aiello and started to fight, the caper became a robbery. When the tall guy hit Joe with a roll of frozen prosciutto — that made it robbery and assault.

As the police paddy wagon drives off, Joe yells, "Where you guys are going, you won’t find nothing like what Joe Aiello serves. You’ll get nothing but mush!"