Digger lives in Jacksonville Beach, Florida, and he loves to party. The Gipper’s Place, near the beach, is his favorite hangout.

This particular night Digger is too far gone to drive. His friends tell him so, but Digger will not give up his car keys. He staggers out of Gipper’s, walks to the parking lot, flops into his Blazer and takes off.

A cop must have staked out the bar, because a patrol car quickly falls in behind Digger and, after following for a few blocks, pulls him over. The cop tells Digger, "I watched you cross the center line a half-dozen times."

Digger nods and the cop gives him a standard roadside sobriety test — "head back; touch your nose with your right finger; now your left finger."

Digger can’t even find his head. Then he’s asked to recite the alphabet, which he cannot do unless he sings the alphabet song.

The cop is on the verge of arresting Digger when there’s a call on the police radio of a disturbance: and "shots fired." The incident is so close that both Digger and the cop can hear the gunshots.

The cop tells Digger, "Stay right here!" Then the cop takes off running to the trouble spot which is less than a half-block away.

As instructed, Digger waits patiently but after a few minutes he decides he’d rather be home in bed. Digger hops in the car and drives off.

About an hour later, Digger’s wife answers a loud knock at the front door. It’s the cop who stopped Digger for drunk driving and he’s holding up a driver’s license. "Where’s your husband, ma’am?" the cop demands.

"He’s in bed with the flu," the wife says, knowing she’s telling a bold face lie.

The cop asks to see Digger’s car. The wife leads him through the kitchen and opens the garage door. There, parked in Digger’s garage, is a patrol car with the blue lights still flashing.