August 11, 2004 -

DUBIOUS DUBYAISM!

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George does something on illegals. (I'm not certain exactly what).

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Now, the details...

Seems to me that George W. Bush is sane about most everything except Mexican illegals in our country. He has proposed an amnesty for those who have wormed their way in and has done little or nothing to give the Border Patrol the orders to turn the tide of illegals and send them back home. The Bush policies (to the extent they make sense) are completely schizophrenic, but maybe they're changing. Homeland Security now plans to give Border Patrol agents "sweeping new powers" to deport illegal aliens from the frontiers abutting Mexico and Canada without providing the aliens the opportunity to make their case before an immigration judge.

I don't know if the Bush plan will work – especially since Bush has a "welcoming" plan that seems to contradict the new deportation idea. But I have a plan – just in case John Kerry becomes president. Honker John wants to "internationalize" the war on terror, so all we need to do is draft the 2 million (or more) illegal aliens in this country into the military and send them to Iraq or wherever to fight for the country they illegally invaded. No Social Security Disability. No welfare. No unemployment benefits. Just the same deal our home-grown soldiers get for fighting under Old Glory.

The Honker should love it! Imagine President Kerry announcing that 2 million Mexicans are fighting for the Coalition of the Willing in Iraq. If they run at the first sign of resistance, Kerry can brag that they appear to be very French. It would be a win-win deal for the Honker.

Kerry gave us one of those "wow!" moments, when he said he would create "strong alliances" and declared he would pursue a "more sensitive war on terror that reaches out to other nations and brings them to our side." A "sensitive" war is a couple of miles over the top. Are we to find the terrorists and put baby powder on their little bottoms? Maybe threaten them with a time out? (That'll teach ‘em!)

Sorry, Honker, but "sensitive" and "war" don't go together. A body might think a decorated Vietnam war hero would know that.

The Honker keeps peddling the story that he and he alone can bring the Frogs and Germans into the Iraq war. (He hasn't mentioned the Martians, but maybe Teresa can work with them, as one space cadet to another.)

Honker John also says he was illegally in Cambodia, under orders from President Nixon, before Nixon was President. Good trick. (If Nixon was "Tricky Dick," what do we call Tricky John?)

Ah, Vegas. The people who run Las Vegas aren't afraid of much. They handle nutcase athletes and entertainers who go bonkers while drugged up and gambling. The weather is tough, but that doesn't frighten Vegasverts. They peacefully coexist with the mafia, which, after all, founded the place. Vegas has managed to grow and prosper even in the face of a depressing in-migration of Californians. You got to be tough to take lots of Californians. Vegas even puts up with a mayor who was elected despite a history of being a mob mouthpiece. But casino owners and the city bureaucracy ran backward when the FBI and Homeland Security people wanted to show them strong indications that Islamic nutcases have been casing Vegas for a possible terror attack. The Vegasverts didn't want to see evidence of a possible terror attack – since the knowledge might increase their legal liability. So, it's obvious the only thing that reduces Las Vegas to spineless mush is trial lawyers.

I make no arguments against women serving in high military office, but one woman is making the case all by her lonesome. The best single argument against female generals is a one-star, Brigadier General Janis Karpinski. Janis is the former commander who supervised the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. Jarring Janis was suspended in May for obvious incompetence but since then has devoted her life to declaring she didn't know anything about anything and hinting darkly that Don Rumsfeld, or maybe even George W. Bush, ganged up to make her the lumpy centerfold for the manufactured "prison scandal." Jabbering Janis finds a friendly audience with the British Broadcasting Corp., and the America-haters at al Jazeera. She tells them that she believes there was a "senior-level" conspiracy to keep her from doing her job. That's possible. It's also possible that Phyllis Diller could be Miss Universe in 2005.

We're accustomed to fools whining that a murderer of tender age, maybe 16 or 17, should be exempt from the death penalty. Children, the whiners say, will act up now and then. Now those of us who remember pimples in time relation to the Korean War can take heart – some people object to executing old killers, too. Despite the cries for tender mercy, the state of Alabama used society's cleansing needle to stop James Barney Hubbard's life clock at 74. In 1977, Hubbard shot and killed Lillian Montgomery, 62. Mrs. Montgomery made the mistake of befriending Hubbard, who had been released from prison after serving 19 years for a 1957 murder.

QUESTION FOR THE DAY: Am I too upper-middle-aged to be executed for murder?