August 25, 2004 -

PERILOUS PEANUTBRAINERY!

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Jimmuh is back. Sort of like hemorrhoids.

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Now, the details...

Our favorite fool won't go away. That, of course, refers to former Presidential disgrace Jimmuh Carter. Jimmuh went to Venezuela to check a recall election for uber-leftist President Hugo Chavez – whose buddies include The Idiot and Fidel Castro. Jimmuh, of course, pronounced the Venezuela elections proper and beyond reproach. Chavez opponents say there was massive fraud and point out that exit polls consistently showed voters wanted to show Chavez the door. All exit polls showed about the same result – that being that Venezuelans wanted to get rid of Chavez and his thug regime. But Chavez controls everything, including the voting machines, and he has a Nobel Peace Prize winning idiot on his side.

What is it about Jimmuh that makes him love dictators so much? The Wall Street Journal recalls this Jimmuh statement to Romanian Communist dictator Nicolae Ceausescu: "Our goals are the same, to have a just system of economics and politics. . . . We believe in enhancing human rights . . . [and] the freedom of our own people."

Have another drink, Jimmuh. Ceausescu and his wife were convicted for mass murder and other crimes. They were then shot by a firing squad.

Republicans have a secret weapon in the presidential race. The special device is a loose cannon, sometimes known as Maria Teresa Thierstein Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry. (If the name doesn't ring a bell, her husband, Mr. John Forbes Kerry Heinz, is running for president.) Babbling in Reader's Digest, Teresa said: "I think nobody is truly qualified to be President of the United States." She added: "I mean, are you qualified to run the world . . . not run it, but have that influence? No, nobody is." she said in Reader's Digest. . . .

But she has a point, kinda/sorta. Jimmuh Carter was and remains a nobody and he was president.

Strange, but Teresa has been very quiet of late. How do you gag a mouthy woman who has a net worth of a billion bucks? Maybe John Kerry can handle the presidency, if he can shut up Teresa without triggering the pre-nuptial agreement.

But to return to The Idiot...

Is it possible that Democrat Jimmuh Carter likes being a fool because it means he will never be alone? Consider that a Pew poll asked, "Might U.S. wrongdoing have motivated [the] 9/11 attacks?" The responses are mind-blowing. Fifty-one percent of Democrats said yes. Seventeen percent of Republicans showed similar evidence of brain damage, joined by lots of "independents." I wonder what these fools think we did to cause peace-loving Japan to attack Pearl Harbor?

Which brings us back to Honker John Kerry, who said several months ago he would make enormous reductions in our overseas troop deployments but decided President Bush is abandoning our allies by planning to remove significant numbers of American forces from Germany and South Korea. We have 72,000 American troops in Germany, put there by President Eisenhower to menace the Soviet Union, which vaporized about 13 years ago. We have 37,000 soldiers in South Korea, supposedly to repel the million-man North Korean army. Bush proposes, to loud howls from the Kerry folk, sending 12,500 of them elsewhere.

In point of fact, the American force in South Korea is a "trip wire." If the Communists exterminate them, then North Korea will glow in the dark. Thanks to the Clinton administration, North Korea has nuclear weapons and can turn our troops on the Korean peninsula into Freedom Fries in a few seconds. Why don't we give Jimmuh Carter a rifle and a helmet and stake him out at the DMZ. Jimmuh can be our Freedom Fry from the first North Korean nuke. It wouldn't be murder. He is already brain dead.

And there's Kerry on Iraq. He honks this: "Every Arab country has a stake in not having a failed Iraq." That's so brainless as to defy description. Most Arab countries are ruled by dictatorships and have a stake in making certain democracy FAILS in Iraq.

One of Honker's spokesthings tried to react with vigguh (that's "vigor" in Massachusetts) over questions about the Honker's Vietnam service. "John Kerry is a fighter and he doesn't tolerate lies from others," spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter said. Someone should tell the lovely Stephanie that this implies that Kerry doesn't have a damned thing against lies, but just won't put up with lies from "others." But then, maybe she's just representing the true nature of her guy.

One for the "Poh Baby," file. It seems the high-level commission investigating alleged abuse at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq found some problems with Brig. Gen. Janis Karpinski, who commanded the Military Police battalion at Abu Ghraib. Janis contended that everybody below her knew that "abuse" was going on, and that everybody above her knew that "abuse" was going on but that she was, somewhat magically, out of the loop. In the next life, Janis will marry Bill (or maybe Hillary) and forget everything.

QUESTION FOR THE DAY: If John Kerry was correct about every American soldier in Vietnam being a war criminal, can he give himself a pardon if he is elected?