November 15, 2004 -

BOUNTIFUL BRAIN DEATH!

---

Jimmuh reveres the Father of Terrorism.

---

Now, the details...

Always good at planning, Carole has an idea for Sen. John Kerry's 2008 presidential campaign. Here it is. First, consider that even the wealthiest and most befuddled Democrats agree that Maria Teresa Thierstein Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry wasn't exactly a large vote-getter in Kerry's campaign. So, Kerry needs to divorce Maria Teresa Thierstein Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry and find a wealthy helpmate who doesn't shoot her mouth off. Available to fill the breach is Suha Arafat, widow of the 5-foot-2 terrormeister Yasser.

Suha extorted a $22 million-a-year stipend from the Palestinian Liberation Organization as her due for letting Yasser hit the cold, cold ground. So she obviously has the credentials for greed necessary to give her an honored place in the modern Democratic party. And she lives in Paris – where everybody loves Kerry. All that Honker John needs to do is to check the pre-nup, get rid of the ketchup lady and marry the rich widow, Suha. Suha probably will enjoy having a husband who is tall enough to go on the rides at Six Flags.

Everybody's favorite fool, American disgrace Jimmuh Carter, didn't break a sweat in exerting himself again as an international joke. Carter wrote an op-ed piece largely sympathetic to Arafat's memory. The words "terror" or "terrorism" appeared three times, and never in description of the Godfather of Terrorism. Apparently Jimmuh was picking peanuts when Arafat's thugs murdered Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympic Games. And possibly Jimmuh was diverted by lust in his heart when Arafat's merry band hijacked airplanes and sent Palestinian children to die as suicide bombers.

Jimmuh's stupidity can be excused, I guess, by his fealty to Arafat as a fellow winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. Arafat won his for obstructing peace and Carter won his for trying to obstruct George W. Bush. The latest Peace Prize winner is an African nutcase who planted lots of trees, most of which are smarter than Jimmuh.

Jimmuh and Yasser will always have their Nobel Peace Prizes, since it would be demeaning to the Norwegians to admit that one recipient was a fool and the other a crook. Arafat's depravity was almost beyond belief. Small for-instances are cropping up. Time magazine reports that Jimmuh's old bud routinely scammed $2 million a month from gasoline trades involving the benighted Palestinian fools who continue to revere him. This is the man Jimmuh described as "the father of the modern Palestinian nationalist movement. A powerful human symbol and forceful advocate..." Jimmuh lamented that Arafat had been frozen out of peace negotiations in recent years. Yeh, and Jack The Ripper was never consulted about rehabilitation of London's prostitutes.

I assume there are a few of you who want to support Jimmuh. Maybe even a couple who have fond memories of Arafat. I suggest that you all gather and conduct suicide bombings on a peanut truck.

President Clinton's Attack Lizard, James Carville, brought Meet The Press host Tim Russert to silence on Sunday after Russert asked Carville if Republicans now have a "mandate." Carville said the only politician he knows who has a "man date" is former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey – who recently minced out of office over a sex scandal. McGreevey, a Democrat with one present wife, one ex wife and several children, said he remains proud of being a "gay American."

Jimmuh is to join former President Bill Clinton and George H.W. and George W. Bush in celebrating the opening of the Clinton Presidential Library (and Intern Sex Clinic) in Little Rock. Based on recent history, Jimmuh is likely to applaud Clinton as an international leader in sex education.

Many Catholic priests in Virginia might be gay, but they're not at all happy over statements by the Rev. James Haley. Formally "silenced" by the Catholic Church, the Rev. Haley of the Diocese of Arlington says 60 percent of diocesan priests are homosexuals. Rev. Haley's figure is higher than other national estimates, but those are pretty shocking, since the low end is 30 percent and the higher 50 percent.

Washington and the national media are playing their insider game. After the September 11 attacks, the CIA was held up to ridicule as an incompetent agency which had done little or nothing to protect America. That, of course, wasn't totally true. But most agreed that change needed to come to the CIA. Longtime fancy-pants seat-warmers at CIA headquarters are resigning or threatening to quit because the new CIA director is changing things. And the media, of course, is lamenting the loss of this valuable "experience" at the CIA. To the longtime CIA administrators, we in Red State flyover country have a message: Don't let the door hit you in the butt.

QUESTION FOR THE DAY: If the top executives at our CIA represent the best we can do, should O.J. Simpson be put in charge of all shelters for battered women?