January 12, 2005 -

DIPPY DANOGRAPHY!

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Dan Blather slimes through.

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Now, details...

Many people think Dan Rather should have been among those sent to the unemployment line as a result of the "Rathergate" phony documents story. I agree that CBS should have canned Dippy Dan (since capital punishment isn't available to corporations) but maybe it's a good thing to keep him around. Rather is a fraud, of course, and serves as a constant reminder that the New York-based media complexes are, in general, propaganda outlets for left-wing causes.

If you need a good laugh, go deep down in CBS's owned-and-operated "independent" commission and read the segment on what wasn't found. That would be the one where former Attorney General Dick Thornburgh and former AP General Manager Lou Boccardi assert, with a straight face, that they were unable to find any component of political bias in Dangerous Dan's reporting on the phony documents about President Bush's Air National Guard service.

Let's forget Dufus Dan's jihad against the first President Bush. Let's disregard Dunderhead Dan's using his "star" status to raise money for the Travis County Democratic Party. Let's just read on by the fact that Rapturous Rather once gushed to Bill Clinton: "Thank you, Mr. President. Thank you. Thank you. Mr. President. If we could be one-one-hundredth as great as you and Hillary Rodham Clinton have been together in the White House, we'd take it right now and walk away winners."

Even a millionaire "star" can be a loser, as Dan proves beyond doubt.

So, I hope CBS keeps him on the air until he loses his teeth. Dan reminds us not to believe golden-throated political fixers are "unbiased," just because they tell us they are. Besides, if Dan gets canned he might relocate to Austin and the last thing Austin needs is one more left-wing fool.

The Texas reputation has taken another hit from yet another elderly Lone Star fool. Former Attorney General Ramsey Clark (who has never met an anti-American dictator he didn't love) signed on to the defense team of Saddam Hussein. This is actually good news, however, since it virtually assures Hussein will be convicted and executed. A friend who covered Clark in the courtroom theorizes that the activity in Ramsey's brain is barely sufficient to sustain involuntary movement.

The 2005 award for Most Gall probably will go to Sen. Ted (The Swimmer) Kennedy. The Massachusetts White Whale, with a straight (if alcohol-reddened) face questioned Attorney General-designate Alberto Gonzales about the propriety of "water-boarding" in the interrogation of terrorists. Miss Mary Jo Kopechne was not available for comment.

Now and again a body almost falls out of his chair when reading a columnist for the Mighty New Dork Times. It's a given that most opinion pieces in the Mighty Dork just bleed off the left side of the page. So I thought maybe Carole had slipped some LSD into my coffee when I read the Friday column by Nicholas Kristof. Kristof observed quite sensibly that millions of Third World lives could be saved if the worldwide ban on DDT is lifted.

Mosquitoes carry malaria and their "carrying charges" now total millions of lives a year since supposedly sensible nations stopped using DDT as an insecticide. The Kristof column noted that mosquitoes kill 20 times more people a year than died in the Asian tsunami. Kristof will likely pay a high price among his fellow limp-wristed New York liberals for his heretic view. Kristof could have saved a bit of his reputation among the reflexively nutty the same way his psychotic counterpart at the Times, Maureen Dowd, would have posed the facts. Dowd would have written that the increase in mosquitoes in Third World countries probably are caused by the Bush administration's economic policies. Or maybe spawned by Republican majorities in the Congress. Or maybe Halliburton. Or the evil pharmaceutical companies.

The death penalty needs to be expanded to include appeals-court judges. The first to get the Ultimate Penalty for Judicial Stupidity might be the panel from the Texas First Court of Appeals in Houston. Those robed worthies overturned the conviction of baby killer Andrea Yates because a prosecution psychiatrist erroneously testified that Mrs. Yates had seen a Law & Order episode about a woman drowning her children. It's not likely that Andrea Yates will skate for murdering her five children, but it would be nice to, at the least, send the idiot appellate judges to prison. With no TV privileges.

An Iraqi "insurgent" group said it will dispatch snipers to pick off Shiites who want to vote in the January 30th elections. This is an area where United States Democrats could pitch in and help. If our Democrats could volunteer to replace their fellow nutballs as snipers. There would be little bloodshed because American Democrats have an unblemished record of shooting themselves in the feet.

QUESTION FOR THE DAY: Did Hussein hire Ramsey Clark because Mark Geragos was tied up?